I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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