Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
