Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
