she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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