Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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