god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
