My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize