I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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