BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
