im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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