Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
