Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
