I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
