I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
