put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
