Nicole vs. Life
I just threw up on my dentist
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
