I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
My liver just had a heart attack.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize