They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize