as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
