I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
