I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I could fuck to npr.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
