i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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