you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
