I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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