Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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