I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Randomize
