Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
