My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
