my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
