Hey man sorry I got all grabby
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We had to coat check the pizza.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
