It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
