Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I skipped work to stalk him.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
