Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Come on in and take your pants off
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