who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
