I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
