at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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