he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I forgot wine drunk hurts
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
