Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize