I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
