we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
