? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
