seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
