No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Randomize
