That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Randomize
