well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
