oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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