taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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