i just had sex bonerless
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
