I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
foreskin is a definite game changer
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize