I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
