walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
