This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
She even gives head with a lisp.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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