Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
