What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
