I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
