Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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