apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
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