fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
