Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
