Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize