I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
