The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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