And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
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